If i was gone, would you notice?

If I died, how long would it be until you realised? a day? a week? never? Would you even show a flicker of emotion if you saw me hurt? What happened in these past weeks that has made you decide that from what was such a strong relationship, where we were close and happy, so us barely speaking, and the closeness we had, just disappeared into this unhealthy friendship. you know when i was in high school i knew how my life was going to go, up until college, there i couldn't see past. i thought it was because i was bound to die or something, but i'm still here. god knows why, seeing as i'm pretty useless. recently i've been thinking to the future and  i see nothing good. why should i stick around for that? sometimes i feel suicidal. I don't broadcast it because i'm pathetic enough to care what everyone thinks and how i want to please everyone. but i feel like i can't do it any more. Don't worry, i'm not going to kill myself, but you need to understand how hard life is, what i've been through. having to pick up the pieces after losing everything. and you acted like you have done, and just made matters worse. yeah, thanks for that.